Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Among the walking dead

"This is what the Lord says—
 He who created you, (your name), He who formed you, (your name).
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God, 
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior..."Isaiah 43:1-3

I didn't think any pain would be greater than losing Mother, but I was wrong. I now walk among the living dead.  My parents divorced when I was very young.  While divorce is not part of God's plan, I do believe God can and does takes the ashes of our mistakes and makes something beautiful from them. True to His Word... He works all things to the good to those who love Him.  I witnessed this as i watched God provide a perfect spouse for each of my  biological parents...providing me two additional,incredible parents.  He truly doubled my blessings.  Thank You, Father!
When my sweet Mother unexpectedly passed away a little over two years ago her husband, my "Dad", and I were devastated.  I never questioned her glorious homecoming celebration with Jesus; but oh, how I miss her! The emptiness of her presence is never gone; but with time, pray and God, I have learned to continue living life to the fullest... but not Dad.  He stopped existing as i knew him. Without Mother by his side, he resigned from life, defined it as meaningless and created his own one-man haven, complete with no need or desire for others.  While this may work for him, it created rejection, confusion and additional pain for those of us who loved Mother... and him.  His way of dealing with Mother's loss was not in my understanding.

At times, life makes no sense, holds no rational solutions and comfort seems nonexistent. When we can't change life situations or others, we come to the realization, a change has to come from within us.  A change of heart, a change of expectations, a change of ideals, a change of thought, a change of attitude.  

Lord, You know I'm not good at changes, i prefer to keep things the same, simple and sweet.  But that's not how life on earth works, is it?  How grateful I am You do not change and are always with me.  Thank You for being my Rock, my Redeemer, and my Father.  On You I can rely for all things, at all times. And when change needs to come from within me, thank You for lovingly guiding and coaxing me through the murky waters and fire.  Only by and through You all things are possible.

have a bless-filled day!


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