Monday, October 8, 2012

the call

"'You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, ' declares the Lord, 'and will bring you back from captivity.'" Jeremiah 29:13-14
The call... most of you know what i'm talking about. 
The past eight weeks, my co-worker, Hayley, struggled with her Momma's deteriorating health.  The prognosis... heaven bound. I completely understood and encouraged her to spend all the time possible with her Momma, but inwardly i fought resentment. Picking up her workload wasn't the issue; jealousy was -- jealousy of precious time she got to shared with her Momma. Then the time came; i got the call from Hayley -- her Momma had gone home to our Father. 

The call unleashed even deeper emotions in me, like the sudden eruption of a volcano.  Three years ago this month, i loss my Mother unexpectedly. I remember receiving the call telling me she would not make it through the day.  That moment is seared in my  mind and heart forever, from where i was standing to what i had own. The pain of not sharing final thoughts, wishes and good byes still burns intently in my heart... the unanswered questions, the empty hugs, the whys, the emptiness.   And then, there's the continuing frustration of unresolved, family issues and deteriorating family relationships due to her absence.  The call has the power to crumble our world to meaningless dust. But it does not have to be that way.  It certainly isn't God way.

As painful memories surfaced like fresh, i felt myself losing control.  But, i was exactly where God intended me to be... totally in need, dependent on Him and His provisions. After the call, i was f
acing the most demanding workday of the week --  while weak in my  mind, body and soul.  AND THIS IS WHAT I SAW THAT DAY FROM HIM:

* I was blessed to work side-by-side with a substitute teacher, a strong sister-in-Christ, who filled my empty soul with loving encouragement from above
* prayer from other sisters who saw my distress
* special coffee for the morning from Little River Roasting
* delicious pumpkin bread, left from the day before
*  the finding of a homemade book marker saying, "find Faith in everything you do"
*  after not listening to any CD for over a year, accidently (not) listen to a CD, "Audience of One", that ministered to my hurting soul with each word and note it offered.

WHEN WE SEEK HIM, WE FIND HIM.  He nourished me mentally, emotionally and physically.

Why am i exposing my heart  so openly to you today? Because maybe someone needs to be reassured GOD IS WITH US, through our turbulent days.  God wants to care for our every need and hurt, we need only turn to Him.  He can and will remove and save us from whatever holds us captive.  In Him, we will be free!!  Thank You, Jesus!!!

have a thank-filled day!

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